In an effort to try to find my place in the Big D, I have done nothing but shut myself out. In trying not to rely on the few people I know, I have pushed them aside. I have officially distanced myself from my friends…my best friend.
It hurts to think that someone that I care about so much, someone I would truly be lost without, thought that I wasn’t interested in what is going on in her life. She is my best friend and I want to know everything that is happening with her - good, bad and ugly. And I want her to know I am sorry for being a shitty friend lately.
In my two and half years in Dallas, I have become close with a handful of people and know a handful or two more, but I still don’t feel like I am putting myself out there enough. It’s pretty easy to meet new people, but it’s difficult to meet people you actually want to spend time with. It’s not that I am unhappy, but I think I could be happier, more content.
I don’t really know where to go from here. I am open to suggestions though.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Have you ever had the feeling that you are have begun to have less and less in common with your friends? That they are moving on and “growing up” and you are not? Do you have a problem when your friends are telling you to make friends?
I am 26. I don’t think that I am old. I don’t think it is mandatory to be in a relationship. But I know more married people closer to my age in Texas than I do single people. And a majority (probably all minus one) of my single friends are looking to settle down.
I think, no, I know, I have said this before, but if I still lived in NJ, I wouldn’t feel the same pressure as I do now to find a significant other and get married and buy a house in the suburbs and pop out a kid or two.
Over the past month or so, I have felt that I have been distancing from my friends and even having a social life. I find that I would rather stay at home on the weekend than go out. I have been turning my head away from conversations that I feel I can’t relate to…or that I just don’t want to be involved in.
I am not sure where this is going or where I should be going, but there it is. That is how I am feeling right now. On a Friday night. In front of my computer.
Friday, August 29, 2008
